If I were King (Mike Brown) For A Day

(No that's not me, that's the old King)

So, in response to this article by Dan Parzych detailing how it's no surprise that Bob Bratkowski is coming back for what will most likely be yet another underachieving offense season next yet, I was asked what I would do if I magically took over the Bengals organization. Within about 30 seconds I had scribbled down my top 10 list. Every word I wrote made me madder and madder. Without further ado:

10 Moves I Make If Took Over Ownership of the Bengals

1) Fire Bratkowski

2) I would have hired Hue Jackson before the Raiders. The Bengals receivers loved working with Hue when he was the Bengals WR coach. And really anybody would be better at Brat's job than Brat. But then again I would probably leave this decision up to: (see #4).

3) Hire 10 more scouts and put them to work right away. Not only would I hire scouts but I would provide them with a company credit card that allows them to eat at places other than Denny's. Furthermore, this magic card would also allow them to not have to pay for their own flights, not force them to stay in pay-by-the-hour hotels, and give them the option to rent something other than a sub-compact car to get around in. (I can only assume that this is how Mike Brown operates).

4) Hire a GM.

5) Fire Katie Blackburn and Troy. Worthless. You know, it's one thing when the only money you make is from people CHOOSING to come to a game, or buy merchandise, or buy a beer at the game. When its a choice to spend money on a football team, then yes as an owner you can keep it in the family all you want. You can hire your 10 year-old grand daughter as a scout and your 7 year-old great nephew as a beer vendor for all I care. HOWEVER..HOW. E-V-E-R. The second you start charging taxpayers for YOUR stadium, it no longer becomes a choice for the public. Sure, people can move out of Hamilton County, but then you're negatively affecting peoples lives. Again, THE SECOND you start charging tax payers for your stadium, the goal of the organization should be one thing and one thing only: reaching the highest pinnacle possible for that organization, The Super Bowl. And that means it is no longer a family business. It is about hiring the best people who will give your organization the best chance of success.

6) Hire a real negotiating team that will get the players in on time for training camp. (Real good job in getting Andre Smith to agree to that lesser contract when because of it you lost him for almost the entire first year. Brilliant I say)

7) I would take out a full page ad in the newspaper apologizing for the 19 years the organization has continuously let the city of Cincinnati down without even attempting to put together a winning team.

8) I would restructure the stadium deal to be more like other cities agreements so that its not downright screwing the taxpayer.

9) I would return ticket prices to the level they were last year (they already announced they are raising them for next year) AND I would pledge that no ticket price would be raised until we won a playoff game. (I really like this idea).

10) I would start building an indoor practice facility ASAP so that my team doesn't have to get on a yellow school bus and travel to Mason's soccer facility to get a practice in during the winter.

There that's it. That's what I'd do.

After I got done writing these, I looked back and I realized that none of these 10 things have anything to do with actual player personnel decisions (For example deciding to bring back Odell Thurman or Chris Henry, or suggesting an Offensive Lineman should become a TE). You know why? Because that is the job of the General Manager. NOT THE OWNER. Really only 2 out of the 10 I listed would be decisions that should be handled by the GM. Firing the OC was one, and I justify that because that needs to be done ASAP and no reason to delay the inevitable as any GM would see Bratkowski as worthy of a high school assistant job, and no more. And hiring Hue before the Raiders got him (he really got screwed by Petrino).

I'm curious to see if anyone has other things they would do?

Greg "If I owned the Bengals for 5 years and didn't at least make it to a Super Bowl I would donate the team to charity" R.