Reds Game Live Blog.. type thing

Much like we did for some of the Bengals games, tonight starting at 7:10 we will be following the Reds vs. Pirates game tonight with inning by inning updates. So if you are bored, and/or are watching the Reds game tonight stop in an follow along.

Here is a picture of the always popular Erin Andrews Ass to hold you over until then....
We are five minutes or so from the first pitch. The starting pitcher for the Pirates is Paul Maholm who is 3-4 with a 4.5 ERA. So not impressive. The Reds are starting UNDEFEATED Mike Leake. I think its about time for us to give Leake a nickname. We'll get back to that later though.... be back in an inning.

Inning 1: Some Pirate got a hit but no one cares, no harm done. 11 pitch inning for Leake. In the Reds' half of the inning Votto laced a double which got me thinking about something. ESPN sportswriter and my personal hero Bill Simmons has a theory, inspired by Joey Harrington, that a player can't possibly be respected with the name Joey. It makes sense. Think about it... everyone named Joey you know is either a screw up or at the very least kinda goofy. Meanwhile Joe Frazier, Joe Theisman, Joe Morgan, Joe Namath... all great athletes. All great Americans. So from now on we call him Joe Votto. Or if you must, Joseph. Rolen grounded out 0-0 after one.

Inning 2: A couple double plays make this a rather uninteresting inning. Both pitchers look "groovy."

Inning 3: Cedeno gets a hit which makes number 8 hitters 2-16 against Leake on the season. Thank you for that random stat Mr. Chris Welch. Another double play for the Reds and the Pirates have 3 hits and nothing to show thus far.

Janish starts the bottom of the 3rd with a hit. The 2nd of his career. Okay not really but man he's weak at the plate. Reds strand him at 2nd. 3 innings down, 0-0 still.

Inning 4: Welp Gomes got a 2 out double but they couldn't get him in. I'm glad they decide to play the most boring 4 innings of baseball I've seen this year when I decide to do a running diary. Just to make sure you're awake......... sorry, I couldn't find any hot girls wearing Reds gear. Some nice Marge Schott stuff though.

Inning 5: A Pirate runner almost got to 2nd base!!! And who says baseball is boring. Our pitcher got a hit... nothing else. This is physically painful. On a brighter note since I have nothing to write about I spent the inning searching and look what I found....
.... pretty sure I've posted this pic in another blog, but I don't care.

Inning 6: The first 5 innings took place in less than 1 hour and 10 minutes. At this rate this could possibly be a 2 hour game, which will give me way too much free time. Somebody. Do. Something.

Chris Welch has absolutely no idea what the Pythagorean Theorem is. Here's a hint buddy: It has nothing to do with run differential compared to win/loss record. It actually is about triangles... which, in case you were wondering, the baseball field is not.

The Pirates get a couple more hits, but strand 2. Shocking. Joe Votto got picked off first base. There's something ya don't see everyday, but if I'm not mistaking that's at least the 2nd time Votto has been picked off this season. Rolen lines out to end the inning and the score is STILL 0-0.

Inning 7: Lastings Milledge (how could any sane person honestly think Lastings is a good name for a child) just swung at a pitch that, I swear, bounced in the grass before the plate. He would then lace a line to left for a hit only to get thrown out trying to steal a second.

The Reds finally have a runner in scoring position with a Ramon Hernandez double. I still don't think Hernandez should play as much as he does, but I'll admit he doesn't completely suck. Hannigan is still batting almost 60 points higher, but unfortunately does not speak Spanish which hurts when Cueto starts. I'm guessing the new call up Enerio Del Rosario would prefer a Spanish speaking battery mate as well. Regardless I think Hannigan should be starting 2 of every 3 games and as I write this Hernandez has 15 more at-bats than Hannigan. This will be interesting to watch as the season progresses. After a Janish walk, Dusty curiously leaves Leake in to bat? Who pops out ending the inning. Very questionable move there. 0-0 as we head to the 8th.

Inning 8: Unreal. Routine fly to center, and Stubbs can't find the ball which ends up landing about 20 feet behind him. Iwamura ends up on 3rd. Next batter ropes a double up the first base line bringing him in. That's just plain dumb luck. Leake gets pulled after 8 and 1/3 solid innings. Another impressive showing by the rookie. Lets just hope the Reds can get the sticks going in the bottom of the inning and keep him undefeated. Aurthur Rhodes and his 0.49 (not a typo) ERA are on to relieve. WOWZA!! After a strike out by Rhodes, Hernandez snaps off Walker who strayed a little bit too far from second.

Bruce pitch hit for Heisey and dribbles the first pitch back to the mound. SO LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT DUSTY. YOU PITCH HIT FOR A GUY YOU FELT COMFORTABLE IN THE LEAD OFF SPOT AND HAD ALREADY SEEN THE PITCHER TWICE WITH BRUCE, ONE OF OUR COLDEST BATTERS WHO HAD BEEN SITTING ON THE BENCH ALL GAME!?!?!?! MY GOD I HATE YOU.

PHILLIPS HOMER!!!! ABSOLUTE BOMB TO LEFT CENTER! Okay Baker, you're lucky that Phillips distracted everyone from yet another horrendous coaching decision. On a happy note though, it's tied up 1-1 and Mike Leake will get a no decision. Votto and Rolen strike out, but FINALLY something has happened. End of 8. Pirates 1, Reds 1.

Top of 9: After getting the first batter, Baker replaces Rhodes (in a 1-1 game) with Nick "son of a b*tch" Masset. Text from Greg: "Oh God." That sums it up nicely. Rolen makes another difficult play look routine. Every time he does this it makes me hate Edwin Encarnacion more and more. Masset gives up a homerun on a fastball straight down the middle. Awesome. The worst part is I'm not even surprsied. How many times is Dusty going to overmanage this team before something changes. It is absolutely unbelieveable how bad of an in game manager he is. Once again, Masset should be shot... that is quickly becoming the new Cintucky slogan.

Bottom of 9: Jonny Gomes starts off the inning with a strike out. Hernandez gets things started with a hit to left field. Lance Nix pitch hits for Drew Stubbs. Now this one makes sense. You put in a guy who has been crushing the ball for a weak hitter (who was batting 7th). It should also be noted that Nix homered in 3 straight starts, then hasn't started since (thank you for actually useful information Welch). Nix bloops out to 2nd. Cabrera, pitch hitting for Janish pops out to the catcher to end the game.


RECAP: What did we learn? Dusty sucks. Masset also sucks. The bats were cold. Shit Masset gets his 3rd loss on the season and his 2nd in his last 4 appearances. Final Score: Pirates 2, Reds 1.


Brian "now lets hope the Padres can take care of the hated Cards" Reinhart

Good to see the Reds we know and love are back....

So there I was at work grinding away like usual. I had heard the Reds put up 8 runs in the second inning after a God, ahem, Joey Votto grand slam, and were heading into the bottom of the 9th with a 9-3 lead. Normally for day games I will periodically check the score and try to follow most of the 9th inning from my desk, but today I was pretty busy, and thought “Hey it’s a 6 run lead… this ones in the bag. I’ll get some work done and just read the recap later.” Well you can then imagine my surprise about a half hour later when I get a text from my friend Volz reading “no ducking way.” Clearly Volz has not quite figured out predictive text, but we’ll deal with that at another time. An email from Greg shortly followed: “walk off grand slam, game over.”

At first I just assumed they were ducking with me because I mean come on.. not even the Reds could blow a 6 run lead in the 9th, but some quick research as well as a couple other angry emails/texts from friends would indeed confirm that the Reds had lost. They went into the 9th with the win in hand, and gave it up faster than Audrina at the site of a motorcycle.

To make matters worse the hated Cardinals beat the Marlins today to take over first place in the NL Central Division, or what is quickly becoming known as the St. Louis Invitational. Sure it may only be one game, and all this worrying is simply an over-reaction. I’m sure that’s how outside people or non-diehards feel about today’s game, but real Reds fans… we know. We’ve been here before, seen this 1,000 times, and will be shocked if anything but the expected lies ahead. What is the expected? About a 5-15 slide that puts us about 5 games back, causing Dusty to over-manage killing the confidence of all his young players, wearing out his veterans, and positioning us for a second half slide that leaves us below .500 and in 3rd or 4th place in the division yet again. I know I sound like Chicken Little, but we Reds fans just know when the sky is falling.

If you want to know why we lost today it was two main reasons: 4 errors (games like these happen and generally speaking the Reds have been outstanding defensively this season so we can let this slide) and poor coaching. I’ll elaborate on the 2nd one. First off you should never pitch Lincoln and Massett back to back. They are our most up and down relievers and if both are having an off night it will add up to a big inning for the opposition. You have to mix these high variance guys in with the more steady performers like Rhodes and Coco so that the inning doesn’t completely blow up in your face before you even realize what happens. Also if you are going to make a substitution, do it for the right reasons. Going into a defensive inning you do not take out Stubbs and leave Nix in the game. That is just flat out poor managing!

Hopefully this team can prove me wrong. They’ve never said die all season and are still only a half game out of first place. Unfortunately for most Reds’ fans we’ve seen this act and we know how it ends. Pretty ducking miserably.

Brian “Ugh” Reinhart

All We Can Talk About is Reds!!

Two things:

I heard the Reds are something like 45-22 since they signed Scott Rolen last year. Rolen is one of the reasons why this team is different than the pretenders of the mid 2000's with Griffey and Dunn. Another reason? Griffey and Dunn are gone. According to this article on SI.com, Griffey and Dunn were notorious for lounging around before games on the couch paging through magazines. The younger guys, including Jay Bruce would follow suit. Now a days? Exert from story:

"The couch is still in the Reds' digs. Nobody uses it before games. "There's no entitlement in that clubhouse now,'' Castellini said."

The Reds lead the majors in going first to third on a hit. Do you think Griffey and Dunn teams would have that type of hustle? Don't think so.

Lastly, I found a video of the saxophone player from Saturday night's Civil Rights game. BK Jackson performing America the Beautiful:

1st Place!?!? Feels...

.... oddly unsettling.

I better get this post up quickly because you never know how long it will last, but after back to back wins over the hated Cardinals your Cincinnati Reds find themselves atop the NL Central for the first time in... well I'm not going to take the time to look it up, but it's been f*cking forever. What I can tell you is that this is the latest in the season the Reds have led the division since 2006. Wow.

That's a long time. A lot of stuff has happened since then.

Like what exactly? Well I'm glad you asked.

Since the last time the Reds led the division this late in a season:
- The IPhone is released and makes rich college kids feel extra cool.
- Dexter premiers on Showtime and becomes the best show on TV.
- Rachael Ray becomes a household name and a leading candidate for the "Would you.." game between guys. Yes, I would.
- Monday Night Football moves to ESPN.
- The Dark Knight and Pirates of the Caribbean movies make more money than 20% of the countries in the world.
- Kevin Garnett finally wins an NBA title (before he became the role player he is today).
- The Departed wins an Academy Award for Best Movie Ever.
- Mel Gibson is arrested for DUI. To improve his image after this embarrassment he blasts Jewish people, goes insane, tries to come back, fails.
- Chris Hanson catches predators and develops an uncanny ability to get people to "have a seat right there."
- The Nintendo Wii is released. Idiots launch controllers into TV's. The Nintendo Wii Controller Wrist Safety Strap is released.
- MLB produces the Mitchell Report naming all players that have used or are using steroids.
- The United States suffers through its worst economic recession since the Great Depression.
- Hollywood writers go on strike producing more reality TV including 10 seasons of Survivor, 5 Real World/Road Rules challenges, 1 Howie Mandell, and 7 guido's STDing it up in Jersey.
- UK basketball fires Tubby Smith, hires Billy Clyde, fires Billy Clyde, hires John Calipari.
- Tiger Woods becomes #1 on the "Men Women Hate the Most" chart.
- Michael Jackson moonwalks one last time.
- The Hills on MTV becomes insanely popular sends Lauren Conrad straight into the bedrooms of horny teens everywhere.
- Twilight makes vampires seem cool. They really aren't though.
- Kanye West makes Taylor Swift cry.
- The United States of America elects its first African American president, Barack Obama.


Needless to say, us Reds fans have waited awhile to be relevant again.

Brian "oh and 'Megan Fox' became the number 1 google 2 years in a row" Reinhart

What A GAME!!!!!

Well I might have to pause writing this when the cops show up from the scream I let out as the Cardinals were thrown out at the plate trying to tie the game in the top of the 9th. What a game! And what a game to represent the civil rights game. Absolutely humongous come back game for the Reds. The guys should be congratulated, all but Coco Cordero who should be strapped to the wall by his jock strap while Jonny Gomes hits off a tee towards him.

(As a side note to how much Jim Day sucks, during the postgame he just said "there are tons of fans still here cheering and they are going crazy!!" Little did he realize that the camara had a good portion of the stands in his background and there was not a fan to be seen.)

Ramon Hernandez had an absolutely huge night with 2 hits, a walk, an RBI and the fabulous play at the plate to make the final out. Drew Stubbs also had a timely hit with a 2 run triple to put the Reds up 4-2. Arthur Rhodes came in and went 1,2,3 in the 7th. Nick Massett came on in the 8th and got the heart of the order 1, 2, 3 making Pujols look like a school girl on a strike 3 looking.

The win goes to Mike "10 year veteran rookie" Leake who improves to 4-0 and allowed 2 earned runs over 6 innings tonight. The game was a mirror image of last nights game. With the stellar rookie holding the opposing team to 2 runs. Luckily, this night belonged to the Reds.

This win has to be a huge confidence builder to the Reds who came into this game 2-5 on the year vs the Cardinals. They know the division runs straight through the Cardinals and at some point they will have to get over the mental hurdle of beating the Cards. Tonight was a big step in the right direction.

A big "u suck" goes out to ESPN for not covering this game on TV and for making no mention of it on espn.com the entire day or even after the game. I would think this would be the most recognized game of the year for MLB and for espn to make no mention of it is a shame.

One of the highlights of the night for me was saxophone player BK Jackson playing America the Beautiful. It had to bring a chill to everyone in the stadium. I will keep an eye out for it on youtube and post it if it appears.

Great night for the Reds and great night for the country. Rubber match tomorrow!!


Greg "I love the Reds" R.

REDSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

I think it's safe to safe this is the biggest series for the Reds [in May] in quite a long time. They find them selves 1/2 game out of first place having won 12 of their last 16 and play a slumping Cardinals team who has lost 7 of their last 9. I hope everyone remembers the series last year, in July I think, where the Reds were right in the thick of it. Pujols hits a grand slam off of Stormy Weathers and the Reds never recovered. It would be nice to return the favor this year.

The Cardinals have not hit a homerun in 7 games. I'm sure that will be something the Reds will take care of ending. Let's just hope for anything but a sweep here. A sweep at this point, when they've fought to get to a 1/2 game back, would devastate them. To end this series 3.5 back would be a huge blow to the Reds mentally, fan attendance, and fan expectations. 2 out of 3 would be nice.

The matchups for the weekend series are:

Friday: Harang (2-4, 6.02 era) vs Garcia (3-2, 1.18 era)
Saturday: Leake (3-0, 3.10 era) vs Wainwright (5-1, 2.08 era)
Sunday: Arroyo (2-2, 5.36 era) vs Penny (3-3, 1.70 era)

Good lord just looking at those Cardinals era's is a bit mystifying. How the hell do they have 3 guys with a max era of 2.08 and Carpenter is not even included? Oh that's right because they spend $100 million per year. All you Cardinals fans who claim to be "small market" can just shut the hell up. Morons.

Obviously the key matchup for the weekend is Saturday, which also is the MLB Civil Rights game, awarded to Cincinnati for the 2nd straight year.

Let's hope the bats keep hitting and the pitchers get hypnotized into thinking they are playing the Pirates. Oh and that they imagine this picture when facing Poo-holes:



Go Reds!

Greg "I'll be there Sunday" R.

Bengals Serve as Halfway House for NFL

It takes a lot for me to be embarrassed reading a sports article. Usually when I do get embarrassed, I am embarrassed for another person. For example, when I heard Tiger's voice on the voicemail he left ti-girl #1, I was embarrassed for him. Or I get the occasional embarrassment of a Red's or Bengals shutout, which fades by the next game. But when I read this article on ESPN.com, I was legitimately embarrassed to call myself a Bengals fan.

The Bengals serve as a Halfway House for the NFL. Contrary to first impressions, this is NOT a good thing.

The quote that struck me, by Safety Chris Crocker, "In the past, we were like the Betty Ford clinic and just rehabbing guys. When you have your back up against the wall, you really have to [say] hey, this is your last stop. You're not going to get many more opportunities, if any."

You're not going to get any more opportunities after the Bengals. You know what I hear if I am your everyday NFL thug? I hear, "You can go out and f*ck off and get arrested, shoot people, get DUI's, beat women, sell drugs, etc. etc MULTIPLE times, and as long as I take about a year off and act remorseful, I will still be given another shot by an NFL team (the Bengals)."

I've worked for one employer my professional life, so I don't know how it works at other company's, but at mine you get one, MAYBE two chances depending on the severity of a crime. And once you get fired, you've got a fat chance in hell of finding an equivalent job anywhere. You'll be flipping burgers in no time.

The Bengals being the Redeem Team are NOT helping the NFL clean up it's act. They might be keeping Pacman Jones, Matt Jones, and many more off the streets for the time being, but in the end those men can't play football forever. It's up to them to make the conscious choice to be contributors to society, instead of another prison statistic. In the meantime, the Bengals are hurting a league with a commissioner who is trying desperately to make the NFL and it's players a better role model for children.



Greg

Pacman Jones Top 6

Bengals fans have sorely disappointed me since it was announced Adam "Pacman" Jones would be the newest member of Mike Brown's Redeem Team. I figured the over-whelming majority would come out strongly against the signing. But the more I listened to talk show hosts discuss the topic and the more I read local sports columns, the more surprised I was at how, how.. I'm looking for the right word, it's not "accepting"...how un-negative people seem to be. From people saying they will no longer be calling him "Pacman" now that he is on the Bengals, to people saying "he can't do that much harm, lets see what he's got" it's been quite amazing to me. Lest we forget he was involved in a Las Vegas shooting that left 3 people injured and 1 paralyzed for life. In fact, he has been arrested 6 times and involved in 12 incidents where the police have been called.

The Bengals themselves are saying that if he gets out of line they will just cut him and not be out much money at all. Pretty sad when you have to justify a signing before it even happens. All this for a team that really doesn't need a cornerback.

There have been many many many mystifying Mike Brown moves over his failed tenure as Bengals owner that have left me angry and vowing that "one more move like this and I swear I'll quit being a Bengals fan." This latest act is by far the closest to the cliff that I have been pushed. How can we root for a guy like that? If he does get an interception at some point for the Bengals, am I supposed to be happy about that? I would compare what is going with me and the Bengals to someone in a bad relationship. The resentment just keeps building and building over the years, one person has all the power and does absolutely nothing to show that they actually respect you being alive. This is how the Bengals have treated their fans even since Paul Brown passed.

If you want to get a snapshot into a famous human being's life, all you have to do is google them right? So, to celebrate the Bengals bringing in another criminal, and in honor of him being arrested 6 times, I give you the top 6 photos I found while looking for Pacman Jones on the internet.

6) Of course, gotta start with the class mugshot. Nothing says, "contributor to society" like this mugshot.







5) Classic thug with a cross. I'm sure he is a regular attender of Sunday Mass. You know, asking for the Herp to pass over him from the previous week's hoebanging.









4) Did you know while Pacman was suspended for the year from the NFL (you know for being a horrible human being), he got a gig as a pro wrestler? Only he wasn't allowed to actually "wrestle" due to details in his Titans contract. His wrestling partner's name was Ron "The Truth" Killings. Interesting.











3) Anytime you google someone's name and Don Imus pops up, it can't be good.









2) Not really sure how the anatomy works here, but probably just another Tuesday at 3 oclock session for Pacman.









And finally, the picture we've all been waiting for...
1) Pacman, in the act, of... "MAKIN IT RAIN".









Ladies and Gentleman, lets give a warm round of applause to the newest member of the Cincinnati Bengals Redeem Team...


Greg "just shoot me" R.

What's In Store for Samardo Samuels??

(Impressive!)

The deadline for college basketball players to withdraw their names from the NBA draft is this Saturday. With this in mind it looks like UK will officially say goodbye to Wall, Cousins, Patterson, Orton, and Bledsoe. While there is no shocker there – all 5 were expected to leave and will be drafted in the first round – there was a very unexpected surprise down the road with the announcement that U of L Center (impersonator) Samardo Samuels will remain in the NBA draft, foregoing his last two seasons of eligibility with the Cards.

The news was first broken a few weeks ago by a Jamaican newspaper, but was given little credibility most likely due to its nearly unreadable grammar. It is official now, and any hope Cards fans had of him returning were whipped clean when Pitino gave his last scholarship (the one for SamSam) to Kentucky native Elisha Justice. As for Samuels, whose needs for improvement category officially lists “decision making skills,” his status is listed as late second round to undrafted. With that in mind, I thought it would be fun to look into the Cintucky crystal ball and predict what the future holds for the FORMER #1 HIGH SCHOOL PLAYER IN THE NATION.

June 24, 2010 – Samardo Samuels gets drafted in the 2nd round with the last overall pick by the NBA Champion Cleveland Cavaliers.

June 25, 2010 – Samuels starts researching where the Cavs D-League team plays.

October 28, 2010 – The ’10 – ’11 NBA season kicks off with Samuels not on a roster and making less money in the D-League than he did playing for Pitino. Fans are, however, excited at the Samuels vs. Thabeet rematch that pits former Big East foes as well as largest college bust vs. largest NBA bust. Samuels wins the matchup with 6 points, 1 rebound, and 5 fouls. The guys meet Tyler Hansbrough for dinner after the game.

June 2, 2011 – Samuels leaves the NBA D-League and his $12,000 per season salary behind (seriously, I looked it up. Isn’t it nice to know that you make more than Joe Crawford right now?) to play in the Argentina Pro League.

June 4, 2011 – After realizing that people in Argentina have even a harder time understanding what he is saying than people in America, Samuels returns to Jamaica to start training with the Jamaican National Team in hopes of qualifying for the 2012 Olympics.

July 30, 2012 – The Jamaican National Team, after qualifying, faces their first round opponent, the USA National Team. Dwight Howard, Chris Bosh, and surprising late addition Derrick Caracter take turns dunking on SamSam. Howard poses for a picture by flexing after a thunderous dunk causing Samuels to wet himself at half court. The French ball boy cleans it up.

August 1, 2012 – Samuels is bounced from the Olympics after going winless in pool play, but is allowed to stand in the same room with Usain Bolt as a consolation. He is not allowed to touch Bolt’s gold medals.

August 20, 2012 – Returning to Jamaica as a country wide hero, Samuels discovers the Charles Barkley diet and balloons to 300 lbs.

September 13, 2020 – After opening and running a very successful honeymoon resort on the beach, Samuels uses his basketball fame to run for Jamaican Prime Minister, but loses by a landslide to the first non-Jamaican born PM in the country's history, DeMarcus Cousins. Samuels inner circle releases a statement saying they expect Samuels to recover quickly and be back at work for his country in no time. Upon reading this, surprised Louisville fans exclaim, “It’s about time, he sure as hell never rebounded while he was here.”

All (poor attempts at) jokes aside, we would like to wish the best of luck to all Cintucky players headed to the NBA draft. The list includes (according to ESPN’s current Top 100): Demarcus Cousins (UK), Patrick Patterson (UK), John Wall (UK), Eric Bledsoe (UK), Daniel Orton (UK), Samardo Samuels (UL), Jordan Crawford (XU), and Lance Stephenson (UC)

Early Season Reds Round-up

(It must have been nice to root for these guys.)

At the beginning of the season I promised myself I would hold judgment on this team until we were at least 30 games in. So even though its only been 26 games, like Rick Pitino at an Italian restaurant, I just can’t resist.

*Before I get into the Reds performance, or lack there of, there is something that continues to bother me that I need to talk about. Will someone out there explain to me why the NL Central has 6 teams when every other division (except for the AL West which has 4) has 5. How is this fair to the teams in the NL Central, and how can baseball and fans continue to ignore this? It’s absolutely ridiculous. People like to complain about the BCS, NCAA Selection Committee and all other sorts of things not being fair, but this is the most unfair aspect of any major sport. And its not even an opinion, it is mathematical fact. A team has a better chance to win a 5 team division than it does a 6 team division. Simple. If anyone out there can offer me any sort of logical explanation as to why it is like this please tell me in the comments section. Okay, end rant. That feels better.*

The Reds are currently second in the (6 team, sigh) NL Central at 13-13 and sit 5 games back of the St. Louis Cardinals, who are slowly becoming the Pittsburgh Steelers of baseball. Now normally I would be pleased with a second place standing right now, but after a look into the numbers it becomes a lot clearer where this team is headed: another middle of the road season that has us out of contention by August.

That may seem a little harsh, but until the team starts producing numbers that would even hint otherwise, expectations can’t go higher. For starters, they are T-14th in the NL in runs allowed… out of 16 teams. Sure 90% of that can be contributed to Nick Masset and his 423.21 ERA (It is actually “only” 9.69 which surprised me. Yeah he’s been that bad.), but the starters have vastly underachieved as well. After last nights 3-2 extra innings win over the Mets our starters had ERA’s of 2.94 (Leake), 5.33 (Cueto), 6.04 (Bailey), 6.37 (Arroyo), and 6.68 (Harang). What does that tell us? Aside from the 5th starter, a rookie, our rotation has sucked more than a Ben Affleck movie. This could be fun.. what else does our rotation suck more than? Our rotation sucks more than Kim Kardashian after last year’s Super Bowl. Our rotation sucks more than the TV show “Justified.” Our rotation sucks more than a Bissel at a pet shop. Our rotation sucks more than Elton John in prison. Okay that last one may have gone too far… back to the Reds…

So if the pitching has been sub par the hitting must have came out of the gates hot as hell to keep us at .500 ball. Wrong. The team is T-10th in runs scored in the NL. Incase you were wondering they have scored 112 runs and given up 140 which is a -28 run differential. The “heart” of our line up Votto, Bruce, and Phillips are hitting .294, .250, and .238 respectively. Its tough to hate on Votto and his almost .300 average, but the dude has struck out 24 times. In 26 games. At that rate he will strike out 150 times. That is Ryan Howard territory. Hopefully he’s not reading this though because I wouldn’t want his sensitive feelings to get hurt causing him to miss another 15 games for depression. The strikeout issue isn’t just Votto’s though. Bruce has struck out 20 times, and Phillips 16. Pretty tough to score runs when the holes in your lineup are only filled with other holes. Also, Johnny Gomes is hitting below .200. We know he can’t field. He clearly can’t hit. Why is he playing?

There are some positives to take away from the first part of the season though. The bullpen has been absolutely lights out, and if the game is tied, or we have the lead going into the 7th inning I usually feel pretty confident. Bruce has shown signs of life lately, as have a few of the starters. The Reds went 4-2 on their last road trip and one of the losses came to Carpenter who is pitching better than anyone in the league, no shame there.

The problem is that eventually the numbers will take over, and the Reds will hit a rather large skid. You can only win so many one run games before it eventually catches up with you. The bats have to pick up, and the starting rotation needs to improve quickly. And Nick Masset needs to be shot.